Honeymooners Sound Clips

The following sound files may be downloaded for your personal use ONLY. They may NOT be posted or transmitted on another web site without permission.

Please don't ask for the Honeymooners theme song. I had to remove it because Gleason's estate didn't want it on the net without permission (ie. without me paying them to put it here.)
Click the jukebox play button to listen to the sound bytes in the playlist.
Below is a detailed description of each sound clip.

[R]=Ralph / [E]=Ed / [A]=Alice / [T]=Trixie

Coreaapl.mp3 - [E] Tell me 'ol Chef of the Future, can it core a apple? [R] Oooh it can core a apple. (6 sec / 29kb)

Shutnort.mp3 - [R] Shut up Norton. (2 sec / 14kb)

Rockcndy.mp3 - [R] Rock Candy? What's the matter with you? Have you got rocks in your head? What are you trying to do, kill me or something Norton? (6 sec / 37kb)

Bangzoom.mp3 - [R] Hohohoho, hohohoho... Bang Zoom! (7 sec / 41kb)

sots.mp3 -  Song of the Sewer - Art Carney 2min:44sec

cotf.mp3 - Chef of the Future.. 17.2 seckiller.mp3I Call You Killer... 17.2 sec

ghemr.mp3 - Grnd High Exhalted Mystic Ruler..16 sec

nortbury.mp3 - Bury Norton in Bismark.. 26.8 sec

roty.mp3 -  Racoon of the Year.. 49 sec

tubby.mp3 - Good idea, Tubby... 52.6 sec

stopthnk.mp3 - Stop Thinking... 23.8sec

blabber2.mp3 - You, Are a Blabbermouth!.. 21.9sec

ralnort1.mp3 - [R/N] had a dream... 16.2 sec

imdaking.mp3 -  [R] I'm the king!.. 17.1 sec

antfollw.mp3 - Let's follow the ant!... 16.2 sec

norton2.mp3 - [E] I am the boss... 14.3 sec

ralnort8.mp3 - Listening to that motor... 11.2 sec

ralph10.mp3 - Got hit with a bat... 12.4 sec

nomap.mp3 -  I don't need no road map... 14.3 sec

ralnort7.mp3 - One man stands out more...13.3 sec

bigmouth.mp3 - [R] I have a biiiiig mouth! That's why. A biiiiiiiiiig mouth! (6.30sec / 35kb)

blabber1.mp3 - [R]Your mother is a blabber mouth. A blabber mouth! (3.97sec / 22kb)

bum.mp3 - (R) YOU are a bum. (2.65 sec / 15kb)

captvid.mp3 - [E] Official space helmet off Captain Video. Wherever you are... (3.57sec / 20kb)

hlloball.mp3 - [E] Step up. Plant your feet firmly. Hellllo Ballll! (6.52sec / 36kb)

lemmon.mp3 - [R] You're nothing but a lemmon machine! [E] Alright. I'm nothing but a machine. (4.22sec / 23.5kb)

mydinner.mp3 - [R] When I leave to come home expecting a decent meal, what happens? A neighbor tells me that she saw you begging the garbage man for my dinner. (7.30sec / 41kb)

pow.mp3- [R] One of these days... One of these days... POW! Right in your kisser! (6.17sec / 34.5kb)

tryingtm.mp3 - [R] Norton... You are going through a very trying time. (3.14sec / 17.5kb)

Alice1.mp3 - Aaaaaaaah shut up! (2.46sec, 13.6k)

Alice2.mp3 - One of these days Ralph, one of these days. POW, right in the kisser. (6.78sec, 37.4k)

Norton1.mp3 - A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists. (3.15sec, 17.5k)

Norton7.mp3 - Norton playing Swanee River. (4.83sec, 26.6k)

Norton8.mp3 - Now listen Ralph, as long as we're neighbors you don't have to call me Norton. Call me Edwardo. (5.34sec, 30k)

Ralice1.mp3 - [Alice] I'm not gonna help you make an idiot out of yourself. [Ralph] I don't need your help, I'll do it myself. (4.15sec, 23k)

Ralice2.mp3 - [Ralph] The bills will get bigger & bigger, and I'll get less to eat. Then you know what I'll look like? [Alice] Yeah, a human being. (7.33sec, 40.5k)

Ralice3.mp3 - [Ralph] Peanuts, peanuts, what am I gonna do with peanuts? [Alice] Eat'em, like any other elephant. (5.24sec, 29k)

Ralnort9.mp3 - [Ralph] When they made me, they threw away the mold. [Norton] They had to, you probably broke it. (4.85sec, 26.8k)

Ralnor10.mp3 - [Norton] Hey uh, what kind of peanut butter is that? Is that the crunchy kind? [Ralph] Yes, It's the crunchy kind, and I can prove it to you. When this jar hits your head, you'll hear a crunch. (8.35sec, 46.1k)

Ralnor11.mp3 - [Ralph] What does icky mean? [Norton] I dunno, why? [Ralph] Alice just said I was icky. [Norton] It must mean fat. (5.05sec, 28k)

Ralnor13.mp3 - [Norton] Well, I guess as time goes on I grew older, I matured. [Ralph] Yeah, now you're a full grown nut. (6.99sec, 38.6k)

Ralph1.mp3 - I've lost my patience. I've lost it. Put 'em up. Let's go. (3.88sec, 21.5k)

Ralph3.mp3 - You're gonna do the mambo? You're gonna do the mambo but it's gonna be on the moon. (3.62sec, 20k)

Ralph12.mp3 - Get out. Get out!!! And stay out of here too. (6.48sec, 36k)

Ralph13.mp3 - Norton... Norton... Come on down. (2.89sec, 16k)

Ralph14.mp3 - Baby, you're the greatest. (1.91sec, 10.6k)

Ralph15.mp3 - [Host] What do you do for a living? [Ralph] I brive a dus. [Host] You brive a dus? [Ralph] I dus a brive. (7.76sec, 43k)

Ralph16.mp3 - Bang... Zoom. (1.48sec, 8k)

Norton3.mp3 - Hey there Ralphie boy. (1.03 sec, 5.8k)

Norton4.mp3 - As we say in the sewer, "Here's mud in your eye". (2.63 sec, 14.6k)

Norton5.mp3 - (Mr. Faversham): Mr. Norton, did you notice when he came in how his voice filled this room? (Norton): I did notice that the room got a little crowded. (7.31 sec, 40.3k)

Norton6.mp3 - When the tides of life turn against you, and the current upsets your boat, don't waste those tears on what might have been, just lay on your back and float. (8.39 sec, 46.3k)

Ralph4.mp3 - I have a plan that can't miss. (1.34 sec, 7.5k)

Ralph5.mp3 - I have a BIIIIIIG MOUTH!!! (4.3 sec, 24k)

Ralph6.mp3 - Sweetheart, you're the greatest. (1.63 sec, 9k)

Ralph7.mp3 - Alice, will you shut up!!! (1.8 sec, 10k)

Ralph8.mp3 - Youuuu sneak! (2.44 sec, 13.5k)

Ralph9.mp3 - Hamna, hamna, hamna... (1.5 sec, 8.3k)

Ralph11.mp3 - You're a riot Alice. A regular riot. I hope they like those jokes on the moon, 'cause that's where you're going. (5.7 sec, 31.5k)

Nortalic.mp3 - {Norton}: I think that motor needs a drop of erl. {Alice}: A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in texas. (6.13 sec, 33.8k)

Ralnort2.mp3 - {Ralph}: You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside down. {Norton}: There ain't a man in New York City that's strong enough to turn your stomach upside down. (8.2 sec, 45.2k)

Ralnort5.mp3 - {Norton}: Hey uh Ralph? {Ralph}: What? {Norton}: Mind if I smoke? {Ralph}: I don't care if you burn. (4.21 sec, 30.1k)

Ralnort6.mp3 - {Norton}: I'm an underground engineer. {Ralph}: He uh, works in the sewer. (4.5 sec, 25k)